Feeling Cranky

In cheerful reference to the familiar children’s Christmas song, I identified last week all I wanted for the playoffs.  While I specified the “two front teeth” that I wanted, I came out of the weekend with a hockey player’s smile.  The Packers lost, the Cowboys lost, and the Vikings are in the playoffs. 

So, now, Green Bay didn’t get a bye week.  They have to face Adrian Peterson again, which has been a nightmare both times they’ve done it so far this season.  And if they do manage to win this time, they’ll be rewarded with a trip to San Francisco to play the rested 49ers.

In light of all that, I have a hard time not seeing last Sunday’s game in Minnesota as a disaster.   

And such an unnecessary disaster, too.  How do you come out so flat when you know how much you’re playing for?  How do you score 34 points and not win?  How do you give up 400+ yards of offense to a team with a mediocre 2nd-year quarterback?  How do you let a guy run for 200 yards, when everyone and his brother knew going in that that was the game plan? 

I think of myself as a glass-half-full guy, but I just don’t see a bright side to this, at all.  And I am much less hopeful about the playoffs in general than I was one week ago.  We have a very tough road ahead of us, and it’s our own stupid fault.

A lot of folks were glowing afterwards because it was such a great game.  Such a classic.  So memorable.  Yeah, whatever.  I’d rather have a forgettable 30-point blowout win than a memorable 3-point loss.

Perhaps that’s what is ahead for us today – a happy, forgettable, blowout win.  Every SI.com expert is picking the Packers to win tonight.  So, too, does every ESPN.com expert – the only unanimous game of the weekend, by the way.  And Bill Simmons offers this extended, encouraging analysis in advance of tonight’s game:

Green Bay's receivers (-30.5) over Minnesota's receivers

On one side: Jordy "I'm Finally Healthy" Nelson, Greg "Me Too" Jennings, Randall "I'm Secretly Terrifying" Cobb and James "I Swung Some Fantasy Leagues" Jones. On the other side: Jarius Wright, Jerome Simpson and Michael Jenkins. Come on. Now throw in …

Indoors Christian Ponder (-12) over Outdoors Christian Ponder

The 2012 Vikings played outside four times and lost all four games: at Washington (lost by 12), at Seattle (lost by 10), at Chicago (lost by 18), at Green Bay (lost by nine). Ponder's best game happened in Washington (352 yards, 2 TDs, 2 picks), although he had Percy Harvin at that point (11 catches, 133 yards). In Week 9 at Seattle, with Harvin hobbled, the Seahawks held him to 63 yards on 22 pass attempts (you read that correctly), sacked him four times and picked him once. In Week 12 at Chicago, he threw 43 times for just 159 yards (one TD, one pick). In Week 13 at Green Bay, he threw 25 times for a whopping 119 yards (one TD, two picks) — and that was with Peterson (210 yards, six or seven "HOLY SHIT!" moments) playing out of his mind. So in Ponder's last three outdoor road games, he attempted 90 passes that yielded just 341 yards. Not even four yards per pass attempt! I mean, I wanted no part of wagering on Christian Ponder in a road playoff game even before I looked this stuff up.

PACKERS (-7.5) over Vikings

Again, Aaron Rodgers vs. Christian Ponder in Lambeau … and the line is less than 10????? Come on. Stop it.

The Pick: Packers 34, Vikings 17

Also, here are a couple of more fun facts from ESPN.com that are encouraging to Packer fans:

With temperatures expected to be in the low 20s for tomorrow night's Packers-Vikings game, it could be the coldest game Adrian Peterson has ever started. He's only started two games in his career with freezing game-time temperatures. While he's moved the ball effectively, he's also lost fumbles in each game. Those fumbles lost would be his only two in a 36-game span ending in Week 8 this season. Overall, he averaged 4.6 yds/rush in freezing games, a half yard worse than his career average (5.1).

From Elias: History says the Packers will figure out Adrian Peterson this weekend. According to Elias, 5 players in NFL history have rushed for at least 247 yards against an opponent in the regular season and faced that same opponent in the postseason. None of them managed a 100-yard playoff game and only Emmitt Smith reached the endzone of those 5.

Finley, Nelson, and Cobb are all expected to be in the line-up tonight, and the defense will get Charles Woodson back.  Set the two starting rosters side-by-side, and I honestly don’t think it’s much of a contest.

The bottom line is that I expect us to win tonight.  And it may be that these guys are actually better when they’re agitated.  Clearly Aaron Rodgers uses negative stuff to keep him motivated, and perhaps that is part of the larger psyche of this team. 

If so, then they have the Vikings (and the 49ers) right where they want them.